Jeremy and I are trying to take a complex, hodge podge of personalities and turn it into a smooth running blended family. This requires lots of talking and negotiation.
How the heck do we incorporate our six lives into one?
Our kids are on different custody schedules so consistency is almost impossible.
We differ in parenting styles. Jeremy is a free range parent. I am structured. But, we both want the kids to be functional adults when they fly the coop.
We understand that to raise self-sufficient adults, the kids need to contribute to the household with chores. Chores bring a sense of pride to everyone.
The primary chore in our house is dishwashing. With six of us, we dirty up a lot of plates in a hurry. We expect the kids to do dishes after the dinner meal. When our dishwasher was working, that meant two to unload and two to load. Now that our dishwasher doesn’t work, it means all hands on deck.
The first lesson in the Tao of Dishwashing is:
Like it or not, you must surrender to the family unit, because everyone contributes.
When first starting our daily dishes routine there was an abundance of
“Not it!”
Without telling the kids, whoever said “Not it!”, we anointed the chosen one. It took the youngest child less than 24 hours to realize that she was always being chosen. More importantly, she learned the reason why she was always chosen.
We no longer hear the words, “not it.”
Occasionally, we hear “Not fair! Why doesn’t so-and-so have to (fill-the-blank)”, after all, they are kids. But it is getting rarer and rarer.
The second lesson in the Tao of Dishwashing is:
Chores don’t have to be a drag when there is spontaneous singing and laughter
The kids learned that singing and dancing while drying and putting away dishes could be a lot of fun. Our kids all have pretty nice voices, except when they are yelling out “The Wheels on the Bus”, but for the most part, we have ourselves a regular Von Trapp family.
The third lesson in the Tao of Dishwashing is:
Broken dishes contribute to the simplicity of our lives.
We have had a lot of casualities this week. For whatever reason, glasses keep breaking. Either the kids have contracted butter fingers, or the glasses have evolved and learned to jump to their death like lemmings.
The fewer possessions we own, the more space we have in our lives for what matters.
The fourth and final lesson in the Tao of Dishwashing is:
Routine, chores, and contribution to community can transform us.
On Saturday, the girls were having a sleepover. After dinner, we excused the girls to go do whatever it is nine and ten-year-olds do at sleepovers. Jeremy and I did the dishes.
The youngest (remember, the “Not it!” girl) came up to Jeremy and I and said,
“Thanks for doing the dishes for us.”
Everyone at this place is keeping the house running on six cylinders.
Plain and Simple Me 
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